How to Take a Neuro-Inclusive Coaching Approach at Work

Are you a leader or manager working with a neurodiverse or highly sensitive team?

You might genuinely want to support people well, but still feel unsure how. Maybe it feels awkward. Maybe you’re worried about saying the wrong thing, or opening a conversation you don’t know how to hold. Or perhaps there’s a subtle mismatch or disconnect, and you can’t quite put your finger on why it feels harder than it needs to be.

Over the years, I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum.

I’ve had managers where being at work felt like a doddle: communication was clear, expectations were known, my strengths were genuinely celebrated and I could get on with really great work. I’ve also had periods where my work environment felt unnecessarily hard, very stressful and I felt very misunderstood.

What I do know now, is the times where I could just be myself, mattered more than any policy. And those are the times when my managers took a coaching approach with me. “What do you need? How can I support? What would you like to work on? How would you do this piece of work?”

So how can you bring a coaching approach into your leadership style when trying to be neuro-inclusive?

Why a coaching approach matters

Taking a coaching approach is especially important when working with neurodivergent or sensitive employees.

Many people in these groups have experienced being infantilised, micromanaged, or misunderstood at some point in their lives. Even well-meaning support can land as control or correction if it removes agency.

A coaching approach does something different:

• It centres autonomy and self-trust

• It reduces power imbalance

• It acknowledges that you don’t need to have the “right” answers

• It invites the employee’s lived experience into the conversation

It’s also more sustainable for you as a leader. You don’t have to be an expert in neurodiversity or sensitivity. You just need to be curious, open, and willing to listen.

And the bonus? This approach doesn’t only support neurodivergent or sensitive colleagues, it improves inclusion, clarity, and psychological safety for everyone.

What does a coaching approach actually look like?

A coaching approach means asking open questions: what, where, how. Always avoid ‘why’ as this puts people on the defence. Staying curious, open and compassionate.

Below are five common workplace situations, with coaching-style questions that help leaders respond with clarity, compassion and effectiveness to all team members. These scenarios aren’t exclusive to neurodivergent employees, they’re part of everyday working life. A neuro-inclusive coaching approach simply makes these human moments easier to navigate, benefiting individuals, teams and organisations as a whole.

1.    Situation: A team member may find it hard to get started on a task.

Example questions: What would make this feel more doable? Where are you getting stuck? What work/projects interest you?
(There will be a reason that feels very important to the individual, so asking provides understanding and an opportunity for them to feel seen and heard.) The nature of the task may also not be suited to their strengths in which case you may want to provide development or support or allocate different work.

2.   Situation: A team member may find it challenging to task switch, or you may need to interrupt them mid-flow.

Example questions: There might be times where I will need you to change direction with the work allocated because of new information coming to light. What is the best way of interrupting when you are in flow? Do you have 5 mins now? What times have you got in your diary where we can check in? What time periods have you blocked off in your diary to do certain pieces of work? What transitions are you building into your schedule?

3.    Situation: A team member may show visible signs of upset.

Example questions: What strategies helps you when you feel like this? What do you need right now? What can I do to support? (And then providing the time and space for them to be able to do that. Humour and compassion also goes a long way.)

4.    Situation: A team member may hyper-focus or work for long periods of time, even when there are no immediate deadlines. This leads to burnout.

Example questions: What can we reprioritise? Where can you schedule breaks or downtime? What feels sustainable?

(The reverse might also be true where someone may struggle to meet deadlines. You may want to ask: What is getting in the way? What can we put in place to help?

5.   Situation: A team member may find it challenging with pivoting in the moment, or dealing with ambiguity/uncertainty.

Example question: Based on what we know for definite, and what we have to make an assumption on, how would you proceed next? Providing context on what has changed and why is key. Explicitly state what is known vs unknown and don’t assume they know that.

You don’t need to ask all of these. One genuine well-timed question: ‘What do you need? Where are you getting stuck?’ followed by listening, can completely change everything.

Taking a coaching approach isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about creating enough understanding and safety for honesty, collaboration, and trust. And from there, all people tend to do their best work.

Does this reflect your experience as a leader or an employee?
I work with individuals, teams, and organisations to build coaching-led, neuro-inclusive ways of working, you’re welcome to get in touch if this feels relevant.